running yesterday was so-so. again it was raining so i hit the gym. i think the treadmill is killing my knee. i felt fine running. as soon as i started to walk, my left knee was crunchy. it makes me lightheaded. blech. i realized my favorite moments of running are when i don't even think about what i'm doing and it just comes naturally. i don't think about my form, my breathing, my abs, my calves burning ... it all just goes together easily. and then for some reason i start thinking about it and it ruins that fantastic blank mind feeling! why do i do that?!
went out last night with some girls. good to be out, dressed up, and eat fantastic food! girl time is a must. it helps you gain bearings on where you are with things in your life, gives you a discussion panel, ears to listen, feedback, laughter, storytellers to listen to, and ways to connect.
my dinner was patsysmackinggood. i ordered a side of polyface farms sausage and corn succotash. holy. it had a cheese based sauce, not too thick or runny, with jalepenos. and it was so good ... i want more!!!
we didn't stay out late, and retired from the downtown early.
ashtonboy spent the night with mom. my debate is what time to pick him up and what to do today! we had a really weird night thursday night, and i'm not sure what's going on with him. obviously he's having real emotional trouble this week with the separation. i'm on it ... ordering books, and trying to figure out the best way to talk to him, shelter him, be honest with him. my goals are to be honest, balanced, truthful and fair with him. all of the books written for kids are geared 4-8, so i hope it's not too terribly over the top or wordy for him.
he's signed up for soccer!!! more friends to make, and beginning the sports schedules ... i have a feeling this is the beginning of decades of practices and game days! how cute will he be in his little soccer shorts and cleats?! eat him up.
i've been lying in bed since i was awakened and pulled some new music off iTunes for the heck of it. DM's new one, metric, silversun pickups, old school beck. thinking i need to get airport to back up my things on since i'd like to try to pull all my cd's on my computer. that'll take a bit although i'm sure once i go through all that stuff i'll find i really don't care about a lot of it anymore ... i have some really trendy stuff in there alongside the stuff i'll never stop listening to. some of it is really embarrassing.
smells is in germany - whoo hoo! i can't wait for her to get back.
i've had my log in and password for four months and worked gradually on my application to grad school for MBA. however i have done nothing about taking my GMAT's. i think i'm worried about not reaping the benefits of the degree. i want to run a company. period. a small company, preferably. everything always comes back to me wanting to be the boss. bossy is a given, thanks. so i'm going to need to figure out a smart, realistic way to make that happen in the later years of my life. i need the latitude to make decisions, and understand different schools of thought, how other companies work their decision-making processes, etc. i don't know if i can make myself work on the prep work, but it's something to think about after christmas. $15k is what it's costing current entry year students at JMU. i'd like to think i'd qualify for some sort of financial aid! i've never had a student loan. i don't know the first thing about how it works ... deferred payments i'd hope? i also don't have any idea how i'd stack up to the other students in class. let's face it ... i'm a terrible student. i don't do well in a classroom setting ... but i feel like i need a paper to match the goals i'm looking for, or at least facilitate my end goals. am i crazy here?
guess i'll get out of bed now. it's only 10:34. ahhh....
gratitude:
- sateen sheets
- music
- legs to run and run and run
