what a month.

i can't believe i haven't posted in weeks! ashton and i have had a tough few weeks. preschool starting has been a major issue for him. he's having alienation issues, which is more than understandable. he misses his daddy, and i'm glad he does. he fact that he misses his daddy is a good sign, but also makes it even harder when i have to leave him somewhere. he's really having a tough time with alienation, etc. i'm trying to be patient and give him a little extra. it's hard when i'm going through my own stuff simultaneously. i'm trying to work on me when he's asleep ... and when he's not getting sleep it makes it extra hard.

a lot to work through all at once; no doubt about it.

so ashy started soccer on saturday, which was hard for him. i don't think he understands exactly what he's supposed to do. i'm okay with that - i just wish he would have a little more fun with it. hopefully this week he'll be more used to it and be able to relax and have fun with his friends! he is one of the youngest by far, and i'm thankful the coach let him in the program to begin with. i think it'll be like school and it'll take him a little bit to acclimate. he was pretty clingy, but i think this week will be better. finding the more time he spends with JR, the happier he is. we're working on it!

i meet with my attorney this week to finalize a few things. everything is starting to wrap up, and provide some closure.

the place is coming along! we still have some cardboard in the house but it's coming. aunt shelly is on the fence about her next moves - totally understandable. anxiously awaiting her decision! having come back to staunton after living in c'ville ... ugh. i don't want to be in s'town, so i can't imagine how it feels at 30. at least i was 24 :) good or bad - it's different.

had many revelations this week regarding personal intricacies and revelations. having a tough time working through some of them. feeling the foundation shaken beneath me, and recognizing those things that have been pushed off to the back burner because of all the other drama and situations requiring my immediate attention. i assumed as much; knowing the dramatic letdown following any highly anticipated event, or long-term focused event ... there's always the ugh afterwards.

moving forward. excitedly anticipating the future even though i know it's going to be a hard, hard road. ash is the most important, and i think the evolution of his life will help to make him a strong, independent boy. transition is hard and so terribly uncomfortable and uncharted.

we'll do it. we'll do it. it's coming along and we're making it!

girls weekend is soon!!! book club meets soon, and so does cook club - i cannot wait!!! i so enjoy my network of friends and acquaintances - it means so much to me.